movember is hard too, for whitey.
sushi bar massacre
the launcher
casey was teaching.
fuck the man, man
i've been fucking around wayyyy too much
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
my chest hurts.
road life pooping is hard
movember is hard too, for whitey.
sushi bar massacre
the launcher
casey was teaching.
fuck the man, man
i've been fucking around wayyyy too much
movember is hard too, for whitey.
sushi bar massacre
the launcher
casey was teaching.
fuck the man, man
i've been fucking around wayyyy too much
Saturday, November 7, 2009
returnings
so like....i haven't posted on this in a long time.
that could be due to the fact that i
a.) didn't have internet for a long time
b.) have been super busy with school/cofair/Biter
or c.) forgot i had a blog.
so basically, the sum up the past three months, I will outline my activities. \
-Biter has played shows with Have heart, Rise & Fall, Harms way, Comeback Kid, Girlfight, and others. We are still under ten shows though, somehow. We are also writing some new jams that are pretty different for us. I feel like we are all really growing as musicians together.
-Started a zine with my buddies Casey and Bryan. Its called Broken Teeth Of The Counter Culture. We are two issues in, working on the third. It is blowing my mind how well its doing. Bryan is an animal. You can download a PDF file of it for free at the Broken Teeth facebook. Also at the Erieshows.com page. If you want to submit anything, just email it to brokenteethzine@gmail.com. Seriously, any art, writings, reviews, rants, stories, critiques, or just about anything else that has to do with Erie in some nature and the culture we have immersed ourselves in.
-I still work at Cofair, which isn't surprising.
-Amber and I celebrated our one year on September 16th. She's pretty ok.
-School is going surprising very well, though I'm failing the hell out of my grammer class. Shit.
- Halloween was a lot of fun. always is, though.
-I''ve spent too much money on records
-I've not spent enough money on tattoos.
So everything is going a-ok i guess. Things have been pretty low key in the Boro i guess. I'm trying to get out to Chicago this winter with Amber so that's about it for big plans.
go download the zine and tell me what you think!
thats it for now.
that could be due to the fact that i
a.) didn't have internet for a long time
b.) have been super busy with school/cofair/Biter
or c.) forgot i had a blog.
so basically, the sum up the past three months, I will outline my activities. \
-Biter has played shows with Have heart, Rise & Fall, Harms way, Comeback Kid, Girlfight, and others. We are still under ten shows though, somehow. We are also writing some new jams that are pretty different for us. I feel like we are all really growing as musicians together.
-Started a zine with my buddies Casey and Bryan. Its called Broken Teeth Of The Counter Culture. We are two issues in, working on the third. It is blowing my mind how well its doing. Bryan is an animal. You can download a PDF file of it for free at the Broken Teeth facebook. Also at the Erieshows.com page. If you want to submit anything, just email it to brokenteethzine@gmail.com. Seriously, any art, writings, reviews, rants, stories, critiques, or just about anything else that has to do with Erie in some nature and the culture we have immersed ourselves in.
-I still work at Cofair, which isn't surprising.
-Amber and I celebrated our one year on September 16th. She's pretty ok.
-School is going surprising very well, though I'm failing the hell out of my grammer class. Shit.
- Halloween was a lot of fun. always is, though.
-I''ve spent too much money on records
-I've not spent enough money on tattoos.
So everything is going a-ok i guess. Things have been pretty low key in the Boro i guess. I'm trying to get out to Chicago this winter with Amber so that's about it for big plans.
go download the zine and tell me what you think!
thats it for now.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Riffs.
Shit i've been jamming lately that i think should be shared.
Chris Colohan (vocalist of Cursed, Left For Dead, The Swarm) and others. Sounds like Motorhead if turned up to 11 with an extra helping of evil. Catchy riffs with the vocal and lyrical stying that you would expect from a Colohan project. 6 tracks in under 11 minutes. So fucking good. I grew a handle bar moustache just from listening to it. You can to.
Burning Love - Demo 2009
DOWNLOAD
I saw this band at Dudefest and i was never more afraid of a female in my life. This female fronted hardcore/punk band plays at speeds that im sure all you wanna-be power violence, ceremony loving kids can get behind. Feedback drenched, old school hardcore jams about topics such as straight edge, meat consumption, and feminists. I'm in love. and it feels alright. Did i mention how fast this is?
Punch - Self Titled LP
DOWNLOAD
Friends of ours (Biter) from Syracuse, New York. Sounds like Cursed with smokey 70's stoner riffs overlaying all the crusty punk awesomeness. To top it off, when i bought my 7" from them, it came with incense and a pin. now all my records smell great! thanks Oak & Bone! They are playing my townhouse on September 29th along with us and a band called Mistletoe. More details on that later, but you are so totally invited because house shows are only fun if its crammed tight and the cops come.
Oak & Bone - Self Titled 7"
DOWNLOAD
And just for the record, you should buy these artists records/shirts/whatever because in the DIY community, these bands don't function without your support. So if they come close to you, at least go out and sing a long or head walk (boogie board). Or order their records like i normally do. Support the art that you are passionate about.
Chris Colohan (vocalist of Cursed, Left For Dead, The Swarm) and others. Sounds like Motorhead if turned up to 11 with an extra helping of evil. Catchy riffs with the vocal and lyrical stying that you would expect from a Colohan project. 6 tracks in under 11 minutes. So fucking good. I grew a handle bar moustache just from listening to it. You can to.
Burning Love - Demo 2009
DOWNLOAD
I saw this band at Dudefest and i was never more afraid of a female in my life. This female fronted hardcore/punk band plays at speeds that im sure all you wanna-be power violence, ceremony loving kids can get behind. Feedback drenched, old school hardcore jams about topics such as straight edge, meat consumption, and feminists. I'm in love. and it feels alright. Did i mention how fast this is?
Punch - Self Titled LP
DOWNLOAD
Friends of ours (Biter) from Syracuse, New York. Sounds like Cursed with smokey 70's stoner riffs overlaying all the crusty punk awesomeness. To top it off, when i bought my 7" from them, it came with incense and a pin. now all my records smell great! thanks Oak & Bone! They are playing my townhouse on September 29th along with us and a band called Mistletoe. More details on that later, but you are so totally invited because house shows are only fun if its crammed tight and the cops come.
Oak & Bone - Self Titled 7"
DOWNLOAD
And just for the record, you should buy these artists records/shirts/whatever because in the DIY community, these bands don't function without your support. So if they come close to you, at least go out and sing a long or head walk (boogie board). Or order their records like i normally do. Support the art that you are passionate about.
need i remind you...
...I'm still Straight Edge.
It's been 6 years.
I claimed when i was 15 to rise above the worship of a plant and a liquid.
I am now 21.
21...the holy golden gateway to bar culture and being the man at underage parties.
Fuck that.
I said it 6 years ago
and I'm still saying it today.
I find it really funny actually. My life with Straight Edge that is. You see, a lot of us got into the hardcore scene and found out about straight edge once there. Not so much for Whitey and I. Being AFI fans for years, we were analyzing the music video for the leaving song pt. 2 when we saw kids "x'ing up" in the so called "pit."
I had no idea what this was all about so i checked it out.
I discovered Ian Mackaye and his musical and philosophical adventures, got the album Soldiers by Embrace Today, and found out that members of some of my favorite bands at the time (Reversal Of Man, Refused) were straight edge also.
At the time i was making all these landmark discoveries, Whitey and I were also dealing with losing a lot of our childhood friends to drugs and alcohol.
And then one day we woke up and all the friendships we once had were gone. And all we had was in one another.
All because we refused to worship a liquid.
Needless to say it made the following years hard. It gave us scars, it gave us tears, and it gave us a bond that could never be broken.
We started going to shows and meeting others like us. Throughout the years, i meet more and more straight edge kids. And more and more throughout the years i realized how different our upbringings were.
You look at me and you will see a tall skinny awkward kid with straight legs, some punk band's t-shirt and probably some shitty haircut to hide my bulb like hair growth. I listen to a vast collage of musical genres and have a large population of friends who drink and smoke and whatever else.
Does that make me less Straight Edge than anyone else? No.
It seems to me that the reason that "we" are all in the punk and hardcore community is because we were sick of the comments about our dark clothing, taste in "music with yelling", and lack of substance worship. This is something i believe to be the uniting bond between anyone in the scene who went to a public high school and got ridiculed for not fitting the status quo.
But on a daily basis i see my peers judge, bully, look down on, practice intolerance and generally do the same things that were done onto us in our younger years to those who are new or different to the scene. Acceptance and tolerance are the only things that can truly unite people.
As far as myself and my other Straight Edge peers are concerned, we have a similar passion. We despise to see youth, at its peek of activity, creative power, and mental sharpness, waste it's time, money, passion, and overall interest in commercialized and romanticized articles of self destruction.
But for us to judge them for their choices and criticize them makes us no better than the kids in high school who made us feel like shit and cast us out because of our choices.
I have pride. I have pride because i know in my heart that i am doing something that betters MY life. I am Straight Edge for me. And for no one else.
It's been 6 years.
I claimed when i was 15 to rise above the worship of a plant and a liquid.
I am now 21.
21...the holy golden gateway to bar culture and being the man at underage parties.
Fuck that.
I said it 6 years ago
and I'm still saying it today.
I find it really funny actually. My life with Straight Edge that is. You see, a lot of us got into the hardcore scene and found out about straight edge once there. Not so much for Whitey and I. Being AFI fans for years, we were analyzing the music video for the leaving song pt. 2 when we saw kids "x'ing up" in the so called "pit."
I had no idea what this was all about so i checked it out.
I discovered Ian Mackaye and his musical and philosophical adventures, got the album Soldiers by Embrace Today, and found out that members of some of my favorite bands at the time (Reversal Of Man, Refused) were straight edge also.
At the time i was making all these landmark discoveries, Whitey and I were also dealing with losing a lot of our childhood friends to drugs and alcohol.
And then one day we woke up and all the friendships we once had were gone. And all we had was in one another.
All because we refused to worship a liquid.
Needless to say it made the following years hard. It gave us scars, it gave us tears, and it gave us a bond that could never be broken.
We started going to shows and meeting others like us. Throughout the years, i meet more and more straight edge kids. And more and more throughout the years i realized how different our upbringings were.
You look at me and you will see a tall skinny awkward kid with straight legs, some punk band's t-shirt and probably some shitty haircut to hide my bulb like hair growth. I listen to a vast collage of musical genres and have a large population of friends who drink and smoke and whatever else.
Does that make me less Straight Edge than anyone else? No.
It seems to me that the reason that "we" are all in the punk and hardcore community is because we were sick of the comments about our dark clothing, taste in "music with yelling", and lack of substance worship. This is something i believe to be the uniting bond between anyone in the scene who went to a public high school and got ridiculed for not fitting the status quo.
But on a daily basis i see my peers judge, bully, look down on, practice intolerance and generally do the same things that were done onto us in our younger years to those who are new or different to the scene. Acceptance and tolerance are the only things that can truly unite people.
As far as myself and my other Straight Edge peers are concerned, we have a similar passion. We despise to see youth, at its peek of activity, creative power, and mental sharpness, waste it's time, money, passion, and overall interest in commercialized and romanticized articles of self destruction.
But for us to judge them for their choices and criticize them makes us no better than the kids in high school who made us feel like shit and cast us out because of our choices.
I have pride. I have pride because i know in my heart that i am doing something that betters MY life. I am Straight Edge for me. And for no one else.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
big ole' life update.
dynamic duo is in full effect
working on the biter album stuff.
you'll see.
In this picture: giant scythe.
now the proud owner of Cursed - One on 180gram 12" vinyl. one of my top 5 records. thanks casey.
THE MUDPIT SAGA
mission complete.
summer is almost over and its like im just starting to enjoy summer for the first time this year.
im ready for classes because i just want to house them and get it over with.
im broke also so the refund check will be much needed.
biter show so soon. get stoked
Monday, July 27, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
i need to do some shit before im wrinkled and spotted.
lately i've been thinking that life is just speeding up and i can't slow it down or even stop it.
...of course by lately i mean this whole year.
i keep telling myself im young
im young, im young im young.
im only 21
i'll do everything ive ever wanted to do soon
ill start tomorrow/next week/next month/next year.
then all of the sudden its tomorrow/next week/next month/next year
and im still in the same place.
my parents always said i was capable of great things, but i simply don't care to try.
but who hasn't heard that before?
they are probably all right...
there is so much shit i need to see
there is so much i want for myself
there is so much that i just want to be a part of
and why am i not doing it?
i dont know
the reoccurring theme of my life.
i need to get somethings done.
im old enough to not do whatever it is that i dont want to do
and just go for it.
what do i have to lose?
after all, im still young
...while im still young.
...of course by lately i mean this whole year.
i keep telling myself im young
im young, im young im young.
im only 21
i'll do everything ive ever wanted to do soon
ill start tomorrow/next week/next month/next year.
then all of the sudden its tomorrow/next week/next month/next year
and im still in the same place.
my parents always said i was capable of great things, but i simply don't care to try.
but who hasn't heard that before?
they are probably all right...
there is so much shit i need to see
there is so much i want for myself
there is so much that i just want to be a part of
and why am i not doing it?
i dont know
the reoccurring theme of my life.
i need to get somethings done.
im old enough to not do whatever it is that i dont want to do
and just go for it.
what do i have to lose?
after all, im still young
...while im still young.
A burning bridge will light the paths we tread
What we thought was providence has buried us instead
Semi-circles beneath the surface
To make ourselves whole we must unearth it
Here's to wasting days digging graves when we should have carved a path
The days we chased were just too fast
Times like these never last
First times and second chances
Letting down our battle stances but always standing tall
It's just where I stand on sinking sand that makes me feel so small
Stamp steal and shake up their hearts
You'll never get enough
This is an all-you-can-eat
I hope you're full when I'm gone
Drink to your fill darling
We both know it's coming back up
A condom is your Trojan horse
My thinking ahead is waiting for an end
We prayed for rain until it's up to our necks
The tides have turned within our hallow chests
These heavy hearts will be the death of us
I'm not burning out, I'm growing up
I've had my luck just not enough
I must admit we weather well
From sunken ships to liberty bells
It's just like we're capsized on walls we hide behind
What we thought was providence has buried us instead
Semi-circles beneath the surface
To make ourselves whole we must unearth it
Here's to wasting days digging graves when we should have carved a path
The days we chased were just too fast
Times like these never last
First times and second chances
Letting down our battle stances but always standing tall
It's just where I stand on sinking sand that makes me feel so small
Stamp steal and shake up their hearts
You'll never get enough
This is an all-you-can-eat
I hope you're full when I'm gone
Drink to your fill darling
We both know it's coming back up
A condom is your Trojan horse
My thinking ahead is waiting for an end
We prayed for rain until it's up to our necks
The tides have turned within our hallow chests
These heavy hearts will be the death of us
I'm not burning out, I'm growing up
I've had my luck just not enough
I must admit we weather well
From sunken ships to liberty bells
It's just like we're capsized on walls we hide behind
Lion of The North - Compass Calls E.P. - "Point Me To Providence"
Talk about hitting the hypothetical nail on the my literal head.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
The Festival Of Dudes
Dudefest 2009 - 17-18-19.
The Journey:
see ya Ohio.
hello monsoon storms. if you look carefully, there is a smiley face with shutter shades in the clouds. i seriously didnt edit this. fucking weird, yeah?
This is all the midwest has to offer you on the road; corn.
dudes on the rocks
The Always Inn. A lot dirtier than it looked. A lot.
MORE DUDES
The Team
Young Widows set
In The Face Of War after party. i got wrecked during Suicide.
Cookies Wingin' - It's vegan gumbo. $3 for a huge bowl. i had three
After a 7 hour drive with Andrew, Rick, and Mike, we finally arrived at the fest. Hilarity ensued.
First night highlights included:
Taking the Veg Pledge (no meat for this homeboy)
Get Rad,
Ice Nine (for being old, tight as shit, and energetic),
Young Widows and their great taste in footwear and bass equipment,
Torche (for the Floor cover and also for consistent smiles emanating from the band.)
meeting tons of new people and making new friends right off the bat,
Rick not really drinking that much,
Hex Records dudes being tight bros,
Cougar Den,
In The Face Of War (me starting to lose my voice during their set),
Get Rad/Minor Threat Cover set which i lost my shit to.
Oh and our hotel being dank as fuck. but cheap more so.
Second night/day highlights include:
Mehkago N.T.
Coke Bust (for reppin' the edge),
Weekend Nachos (for playing all the good shit),
Tombs,
Cookie's Wingin' - It's vegan gumbo and all the ladies that worked there
More new friends
Gaza (for having a 7' tall vocalist),
Buried Inside,
Russian Circles,
Portraits Of Past ( for being the best band at the fest hands down.)
losing a drunk and high Rick and later finding him at the after party where he allegedly almost got shot?,
Almost getting raped by an older man (thats serious, if you want to know the whole story, just ask.)
Skylar and I's stealthy tactics at avoiding said older man,
not seeing any band at the after show because i was too busy not getting raped,
Losing rick several more times through out the night,
Sleeping on a table,
losing my voice totally.
Sunday Nights Highlights:
Woke up at noon with no voice what so ever
Punch (for being edge, vegan, members of Loma Prieta, female fronted, and awesome.)
Furnace
Comadre (for being one of the most fun bands to see ever)
Mammoth Grinder (for being assholes and not playing new stuff but still being circle pit inducing awesome)
Hatred Surge
Phoenix Bodies (for having the smallest booty shorts and not practicing in two months)
Iron Lung (for being jaw droppingly heavy and tight and hilarious)
Mind Eraser (hate-doom mosh.)
Rick getting his glasses smashed
Rick running away from me while high and drunk
Rick hiding from me while high and drunk
Rick getting more high and drunk while high and drunk and running from me at the same time
get contacts from friends far away for future adventures
deciding im moving, for real.
sleeping in a bed
then i drove for like 9 hours, ate 666 veggie burgers and passed out to the texas chainsaw massacre with Amber on Monday.
great freaking weekend.
P.S. - Portraits Of Past changed my life.
The Journey:
see ya Ohio.
hello monsoon storms. if you look carefully, there is a smiley face with shutter shades in the clouds. i seriously didnt edit this. fucking weird, yeah?
This is all the midwest has to offer you on the road; corn.
dudes on the rocks
The Always Inn. A lot dirtier than it looked. A lot.
MORE DUDES
The Team
Young Widows set
In The Face Of War after party. i got wrecked during Suicide.
Cookies Wingin' - It's vegan gumbo. $3 for a huge bowl. i had three
After a 7 hour drive with Andrew, Rick, and Mike, we finally arrived at the fest. Hilarity ensued.
First night highlights included:
Taking the Veg Pledge (no meat for this homeboy)
Get Rad,
Ice Nine (for being old, tight as shit, and energetic),
Young Widows and their great taste in footwear and bass equipment,
Torche (for the Floor cover and also for consistent smiles emanating from the band.)
meeting tons of new people and making new friends right off the bat,
Rick not really drinking that much,
Hex Records dudes being tight bros,
Cougar Den,
In The Face Of War (me starting to lose my voice during their set),
Get Rad/Minor Threat Cover set which i lost my shit to.
Oh and our hotel being dank as fuck. but cheap more so.
Second night/day highlights include:
Mehkago N.T.
Coke Bust (for reppin' the edge),
Weekend Nachos (for playing all the good shit),
Tombs,
Cookie's Wingin' - It's vegan gumbo and all the ladies that worked there
More new friends
Gaza (for having a 7' tall vocalist),
Buried Inside,
Russian Circles,
Portraits Of Past ( for being the best band at the fest hands down.)
losing a drunk and high Rick and later finding him at the after party where he allegedly almost got shot?,
Almost getting raped by an older man (thats serious, if you want to know the whole story, just ask.)
Skylar and I's stealthy tactics at avoiding said older man,
not seeing any band at the after show because i was too busy not getting raped,
Losing rick several more times through out the night,
Sleeping on a table,
losing my voice totally.
Sunday Nights Highlights:
Woke up at noon with no voice what so ever
Punch (for being edge, vegan, members of Loma Prieta, female fronted, and awesome.)
Furnace
Comadre (for being one of the most fun bands to see ever)
Mammoth Grinder (for being assholes and not playing new stuff but still being circle pit inducing awesome)
Hatred Surge
Phoenix Bodies (for having the smallest booty shorts and not practicing in two months)
Iron Lung (for being jaw droppingly heavy and tight and hilarious)
Mind Eraser (hate-doom mosh.)
Rick getting his glasses smashed
Rick running away from me while high and drunk
Rick hiding from me while high and drunk
Rick getting more high and drunk while high and drunk and running from me at the same time
get contacts from friends far away for future adventures
deciding im moving, for real.
sleeping in a bed
then i drove for like 9 hours, ate 666 veggie burgers and passed out to the texas chainsaw massacre with Amber on Monday.
great freaking weekend.
P.S. - Portraits Of Past changed my life.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
My Still Life.
I guess i haven't posted anything on here in a while.
Probably because nothing has been going on.
That's probably why....
I've worked almost everyday at your local Country Fair straight except for about 3-4 days in the past 3 weeks.
...and to think I've been doing this for 5 years!
I do need the money though, so its fine really.
But some things have been alright.
Dudefest is this weekend. I couldn't be more stoked.
I WILL blow so much cash on merch. I promise you that much.
Also! Freaking went to Waldameer Amusement Park in Erie today for the first time this summer with Amber and her family.
Its decent enough
No water park this time though which is a total bumski
Another item of interest; Biter has begun our production of our album. Im currently working on the artwork/layout for the album itself while casey and mark make important phone calls or something. I dont know what they do with their free time honestly. Oh and Brent,......
...
.
Brent makes noise, literally.
Needless to say im super stoked to be turning out a product of this stuff. Im sure my bandmates feel the same.
I need to get some tattoos soon.
I have so many ideas but im not concrete on where to place them exactly.
Regardless of that, im excited to have them on my body when i decide where and how i want them!
I've been really into the artwork of John Baizley, the singer of Baroness.
He has done work for bands such as Cursed, Pig Destroyer, Torche, and Kylesa.
This is a sample of some of his stuff
i think this will get cut off by blogger but you get the point.
Thats all i got!
Probably because nothing has been going on.
That's probably why....
I've worked almost everyday at your local Country Fair straight except for about 3-4 days in the past 3 weeks.
...and to think I've been doing this for 5 years!
I do need the money though, so its fine really.
But some things have been alright.
Dudefest is this weekend. I couldn't be more stoked.
I WILL blow so much cash on merch. I promise you that much.
Also! Freaking went to Waldameer Amusement Park in Erie today for the first time this summer with Amber and her family.
Its decent enough
No water park this time though which is a total bumski
Another item of interest; Biter has begun our production of our album. Im currently working on the artwork/layout for the album itself while casey and mark make important phone calls or something. I dont know what they do with their free time honestly. Oh and Brent,......
...
.
Brent makes noise, literally.
Needless to say im super stoked to be turning out a product of this stuff. Im sure my bandmates feel the same.
I need to get some tattoos soon.
I have so many ideas but im not concrete on where to place them exactly.
Regardless of that, im excited to have them on my body when i decide where and how i want them!
I've been really into the artwork of John Baizley, the singer of Baroness.
He has done work for bands such as Cursed, Pig Destroyer, Torche, and Kylesa.
This is a sample of some of his stuff
i think this will get cut off by blogger but you get the point.
Thats all i got!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
your still life.
somedays i feel totally paralyzed by my surroundings.
may it be my friends, my job, my education process, or my skills in different arts, there comes days throughout the week/month/year that i just feel like i don't even know how or why I'm in the situations I'm in or how i have come to know the people around me.
Today i was sitting in my living room with my roommates talking about whatever nonsense transpired throughout the day and i just sat there and started to stare at them. Not necessarily at them but more like "of" them if that makes sense at all. I don't know. Anyway, all I could think was "how do i know these people? how are these people my friends? are they friends? how do they know me? what do they think of me? Do they wonder the same thing?"
After a few seconds of rational thought I got a grip on my shit and put the pieces of familiarity back together.
A similar situation happened later on this evening. Two of my friends showed up with some fireworks left over from the weak display last night. Of course we decided it was time to put them to good use. In the interim of waiting to actually begin our night, we razzed each other like the fine young gentlemen we are. At one point i was informed of something that mildly offended me to the point where i wanted a logic explanation of the jeer. After not receiving one, i kind of retreated to my head for the remainder of the evening.
Do i know you?
Do you know me?
Again the feeling of unfamiliarity amongst a group of longtime friends bloomed. This time it stayed. I'm feeling it as i write this stupid fucking blog (which this whole blog thing is really narcissistic when it comes down to it. Why would anyone want to read about your garbage life and why are we saddened or offended when no one does in fact, care?)
I Don't Know. "I Don't Know." What a phrase that is. It's a total opt out of any further explanation or thought. Trust me, i use it enough.
Why are you here? Any of you? What do you serve for me?
What do i serve for you?
This whole blog post is honestly garbage. But i'll post it just because i don't feel like erasing this all and having it be a waste of time.
may it be my friends, my job, my education process, or my skills in different arts, there comes days throughout the week/month/year that i just feel like i don't even know how or why I'm in the situations I'm in or how i have come to know the people around me.
Today i was sitting in my living room with my roommates talking about whatever nonsense transpired throughout the day and i just sat there and started to stare at them. Not necessarily at them but more like "of" them if that makes sense at all. I don't know. Anyway, all I could think was "how do i know these people? how are these people my friends? are they friends? how do they know me? what do they think of me? Do they wonder the same thing?"
After a few seconds of rational thought I got a grip on my shit and put the pieces of familiarity back together.
A similar situation happened later on this evening. Two of my friends showed up with some fireworks left over from the weak display last night. Of course we decided it was time to put them to good use. In the interim of waiting to actually begin our night, we razzed each other like the fine young gentlemen we are. At one point i was informed of something that mildly offended me to the point where i wanted a logic explanation of the jeer. After not receiving one, i kind of retreated to my head for the remainder of the evening.
Do i know you?
Do you know me?
Again the feeling of unfamiliarity amongst a group of longtime friends bloomed. This time it stayed. I'm feeling it as i write this stupid fucking blog (which this whole blog thing is really narcissistic when it comes down to it. Why would anyone want to read about your garbage life and why are we saddened or offended when no one does in fact, care?)
I Don't Know. "I Don't Know." What a phrase that is. It's a total opt out of any further explanation or thought. Trust me, i use it enough.
Why are you here? Any of you? What do you serve for me?
What do i serve for you?
This whole blog post is honestly garbage. But i'll post it just because i don't feel like erasing this all and having it be a waste of time.
lower your voice and be recognized. i, of course, see no reason to reply. give me my just desserts give me my recognition, that proof. remain closed to all of those who dare to remain unchanged by your words. pull back the hammer and take aim. and shoot yourself in the foot, shoot everyone else in the foot. rid us all of meaning. the credit seems to be all yours. and you're sure of your strength once more.
(and all could be dismissed with "whatever, it's cool" and you could argue that it must be good or violent or irrelevant, but it isn't really any of those, and i guess i hate that attitude more than anything)
don't shoot, don't show. push harder the plastic forks under my nails. things don't turn like this even in our wildest dreams. what exactly is that smile? what is that smile on your face supposed to mean?
"we both know i've got those thoughts and words too, but i guess i don't give them enough use"
there are a few truths, and here's just one: i'm as fucked up about as much as you're fucked up. but beyond that there are only grasped straws and our own private perceived flaws. where's that gun? we should both use it. doomed from the start. committed to failure. simply mirrors all? rejected selves live to fall.
Portraits Of Past - Bang Yr Head
(and all could be dismissed with "whatever, it's cool" and you could argue that it must be good or violent or irrelevant, but it isn't really any of those, and i guess i hate that attitude more than anything)
don't shoot, don't show. push harder the plastic forks under my nails. things don't turn like this even in our wildest dreams. what exactly is that smile? what is that smile on your face supposed to mean?
"we both know i've got those thoughts and words too, but i guess i don't give them enough use"
there are a few truths, and here's just one: i'm as fucked up about as much as you're fucked up. but beyond that there are only grasped straws and our own private perceived flaws. where's that gun? we should both use it. doomed from the start. committed to failure. simply mirrors all? rejected selves live to fall.
Portraits Of Past - Bang Yr Head
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Cross Them Out
A lot of shits been going on.
first and foremost, an old friend returned himself to me out of the blue.
David has been a big part of my life for the past 3 or so years and when i heard he would be coming back to PA after his hitchhikes through central america and beyond i was beyond happy. The man can weave a tale, let me tell you.
Also, Biter has recorded. nothing of any importance to you mind you, but still, we are experimenting and preparing for the future. September 15th.
I couldn't be more excited/nervous/prepared than i am now for the coming of Biter.
Life carries on like usual. Working at the local gas station and hanging out with the roommates/girlfriend/locals, riding my bike, wishing i was skating, and being an over all difficult to agree with person, everything is in its place.
Whitey and I have made it an event to shave together now.
No homo.
Dudefest swiftly approaches. If i owe you money, you wont be getting it soon, i promise. All Codydollars will be spent on band merch....like it should be anyways.
speaking of which, got some new records (nerd time)
got some real important records in this shipment. Loma Prieta's Last City, Matrimony 7inch, and Our Lp Is Your Ep as well as the Us, Haunted Bodes 7inch. New End Of A Year 7inch and David Bazan demo 7inch also in there.
i wish i didnt waste money on this useless shit, but its so fun.
what the fuck is money for anyways, you know?
I've found a lot of time to read House Of Leaves recently and really dig into it. Amazing work. A truly unique body of literature.
Staying up late listening to Youth Of Today/Crossed Out/Infest/Unbroken. Thats me this summer. Get Into It!
first and foremost, an old friend returned himself to me out of the blue.
David has been a big part of my life for the past 3 or so years and when i heard he would be coming back to PA after his hitchhikes through central america and beyond i was beyond happy. The man can weave a tale, let me tell you.
Also, Biter has recorded. nothing of any importance to you mind you, but still, we are experimenting and preparing for the future. September 15th.
I couldn't be more excited/nervous/prepared than i am now for the coming of Biter.
Life carries on like usual. Working at the local gas station and hanging out with the roommates/girlfriend/locals, riding my bike, wishing i was skating, and being an over all difficult to agree with person, everything is in its place.
Whitey and I have made it an event to shave together now.
No homo.
Dudefest swiftly approaches. If i owe you money, you wont be getting it soon, i promise. All Codydollars will be spent on band merch....like it should be anyways.
speaking of which, got some new records (nerd time)
got some real important records in this shipment. Loma Prieta's Last City, Matrimony 7inch, and Our Lp Is Your Ep as well as the Us, Haunted Bodes 7inch. New End Of A Year 7inch and David Bazan demo 7inch also in there.
i wish i didnt waste money on this useless shit, but its so fun.
what the fuck is money for anyways, you know?
I've found a lot of time to read House Of Leaves recently and really dig into it. Amazing work. A truly unique body of literature.
Staying up late listening to Youth Of Today/Crossed Out/Infest/Unbroken. Thats me this summer. Get Into It!
Hit Record cause its all fucking pearls.
A bridge-burner to end them all.
Dont want to bite the hand that feeds I want to fucking break it off.
When they say Youll never work in this town again, is that a promise or a threat? Businessmen dressed up like friends, they want to talk about business or friendship.
The more confused the better the guilt trip.
After all I did for you, dont you owe me this?
Sign the paper, sign the paper, This Document Is Legally Blinding.
We the undersigned do solemnly swear by The Plan.
To break down on every highway from here to Creation.
To play the game and sit still for pictures.
Hows your draw?
Does it look good on paper?
Youd better be someone?
Oh arent you anyone?
Gonna be somebody
. We got friends in the music business.
Theyre gonna take care of all the details.
So is it business or pleasure?
The more confused the better.
Dont call me and I wont call you.
Cursed - III - Friends In The Music Business
A bridge-burner to end them all.
Dont want to bite the hand that feeds I want to fucking break it off.
When they say Youll never work in this town again, is that a promise or a threat? Businessmen dressed up like friends, they want to talk about business or friendship.
The more confused the better the guilt trip.
After all I did for you, dont you owe me this?
Sign the paper, sign the paper, This Document Is Legally Blinding.
We the undersigned do solemnly swear by The Plan.
To break down on every highway from here to Creation.
To play the game and sit still for pictures.
Hows your draw?
Does it look good on paper?
Youd better be someone?
Oh arent you anyone?
Gonna be somebody
. We got friends in the music business.
Theyre gonna take care of all the details.
So is it business or pleasure?
The more confused the better.
Dont call me and I wont call you.
Cursed - III - Friends In The Music Business
Monday, June 22, 2009
South Eden
"It started With a clasp of what would seem as electric energy. I AWOKE running through a nailbomb of screaming and utter confusion. The walls of the apartment complex peeled off like the skin of some trophy hunt meat on a wood fire. An older man in a blue dress stood at the edge of the neighbors doorway crying. Hands over face, piss soaked carpet/legs. A discordant pitch sounded and i was launched into a fever of fevers. I pushed through the smoke and flesh hoping to find an exit...some sort of mute button to this whole swirl of violence and static. But upon entering the concrete stairwell between the second and first floor, i was halted. A grinding, screeching halt. A resolving note sounded. Pure and alone; Solitary and cleansing. The hum brought me to my knees. I spit up bile and blood like a sprinkler on a summer afternoon. I prepared for what some would call "the end." Instead i laid myself into another fit. Now a woman, not her. not here."
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Experiments In Nocturnal Sound and Energy
Finally found the energy to not fall asleep early like usual and had a night much like that of last summer.
just me, the streetlights, and some music.
i wanted to capture my contentment and all i had was my cellular phone, so due was made.
Playlist:
Towers - Full Circle
Castevet - Summer Fences
Dolcim - Guillotine Ride
We held hands on the last night on earth.
Our mouths filled with dust, we kissed in the fields and under trees,
screaming like dogs, bleeding dark into the leaves.
It was empty on the edge of town but we knew everyone floated
along the bottom of the river.
So we walked through the waste where the road curved into the sea
and the shattered seasons lay,
and the bitter smell of burning was on you like a disease.
In our cancer of passion you said, "Death is a midnight runner."
The sky had come crashing down like the news of an intimate suicide.
We picked up the shards and formed them into shapes
of stars that wore like an antique wedding dress.
The echoes of the past broke the hearts of the unborn
as the ferris wheel silently slowed to a stop.
The few insects skittered away in hopes of a better pastime.
I kissed you at the apex of the maelstrom and asked
if you would accompany me in a quick fall,
but you made me realize that my ticket wasn't for two.
I rode alone.
You said, "The cinders are falling like snow."
There is poetry in despair, and we sang with unrivaled beauty,
bitter elegies of savagery and eloquence.
Of blue and grey.
Strange, we ran down desperate streets and carved our names in the flesh of the city.
The sun was stagnated somewhere beyond the rim of the horizon
and the darkness is a mystery of curves and lines.
Still, we lay under the emptiness and drifted slowly outward,
and somewhere in the wilderness we found salvation scratched
into the earth like a message
- AFI - spoken word at the end of Sing The Sorrow
I remember this would come on the cd player when i was hanging out with my friends late at night and we would all kind of stop and just listen to this part. It may be AFI poetry or whatever, but its....elegant...or at least nostalgic, to me at least. This album reminds me a lot of being young and staying up all night for no reason at all.
its 5 a.m. i can hear birds. lets call it a night, ok?
just me, the streetlights, and some music.
i wanted to capture my contentment and all i had was my cellular phone, so due was made.
Playlist:
Towers - Full Circle
Castevet - Summer Fences
Dolcim - Guillotine Ride
We held hands on the last night on earth.
Our mouths filled with dust, we kissed in the fields and under trees,
screaming like dogs, bleeding dark into the leaves.
It was empty on the edge of town but we knew everyone floated
along the bottom of the river.
So we walked through the waste where the road curved into the sea
and the shattered seasons lay,
and the bitter smell of burning was on you like a disease.
In our cancer of passion you said, "Death is a midnight runner."
The sky had come crashing down like the news of an intimate suicide.
We picked up the shards and formed them into shapes
of stars that wore like an antique wedding dress.
The echoes of the past broke the hearts of the unborn
as the ferris wheel silently slowed to a stop.
The few insects skittered away in hopes of a better pastime.
I kissed you at the apex of the maelstrom and asked
if you would accompany me in a quick fall,
but you made me realize that my ticket wasn't for two.
I rode alone.
You said, "The cinders are falling like snow."
There is poetry in despair, and we sang with unrivaled beauty,
bitter elegies of savagery and eloquence.
Of blue and grey.
Strange, we ran down desperate streets and carved our names in the flesh of the city.
The sun was stagnated somewhere beyond the rim of the horizon
and the darkness is a mystery of curves and lines.
Still, we lay under the emptiness and drifted slowly outward,
and somewhere in the wilderness we found salvation scratched
into the earth like a message
- AFI - spoken word at the end of Sing The Sorrow
I remember this would come on the cd player when i was hanging out with my friends late at night and we would all kind of stop and just listen to this part. It may be AFI poetry or whatever, but its....elegant...or at least nostalgic, to me at least. This album reminds me a lot of being young and staying up all night for no reason at all.
its 5 a.m. i can hear birds. lets call it a night, ok?
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